Mr. Slayers
by MairiNathaira
Summary: You guys know Miss Universe pagaent right? Well this is Slayers version of that sort of pagaent! Except it's the male contestant, not the female! Warning: Non cannon couple will appear later.


Mr

**Mr. Slayers  
Introductory  
By: Tara-Chan**

Disclaimers: Slayers doesn't belong to me. I got the idea after watching Mr. SAHS pageant. Don't sue me!

Notes: Please ignore the grammatical and spelling errors. OOC might be visible so ignore those too. Also do not take anything in here offensive. Just being silly! Please read and send me feedbacks! Enjoy!!

~*~*~*~

Tara-Chan: Konban wa minna-san! Boku wa Tara-Chan! I'm proud to be hosting the first annual Mr. Slayers competition!

(Audience cheers.)

TC: (Bows) It is my honor to be here tonight. Before I go on any further, let me introduce the judges! First we have Jen-chan! Konban wa! Got anything to say?

Jen-chan: Hello! I'm Jen-chan! I'll try to be fair and all, but I can't help loving Zel!

TC: (Glares) Zel is mine!! Anyways now onto the next judge! Mr. Oh!

Mr. Oh: Why am I here? I don't want to be no judge of some stupid beauty pageants! Especially when the contestants are male!!

TC: (Pouts) Awwwww! Come on! You promised to cooperate!

MO: (Roll eyes) Fine! (Mutters) How the hell did I get myself into this?

TC: (Ignores Mr. "Cranky" Oh) ok. Our next judge is Missy!!

Missy: Hi! I am so glad you made me a judge! It'll be fun tonight staring at all the bishounens!

TC: (Giggles) Same here! Now we have toe Pimp Masta!

Pimp Masta: Yeaaaaah!! That's me! I'm the best! No one else is better than me! Come to think of it why am I down here? Shouldn't I be a contestant too? Blah Blah Blah…

TC: (Huge sweatdrop) Um…yeah!! Finally we have chibi Lord of Nightmare!

CLON: Glad to be here. Now let's get on with the show! I want to see some of my creations!

TC: (Nods) Ok. Now shall we introduce the contestants?

(Audience full of fangirls cheering loudly.)

TC: (Mega-sweatdrop) Okie dokie. First off we have Mr. Sorcerer, Zelgadiss Graywords!His lovely escort is Lina Inverse, Ms. Sorceress!

(Zelgadiss and Lina walk out both in their usual ensemble. Just for tonight Lina and TC got Zel to get rid of the hdeious mask and hood. Both were very red. Zel looks as if he was going to Ra Tilt someone, while Lina looks as if she was going to Dragonslave somebody.)

Zel: (Mutters) This is so stupid…

Lina: (Mutters also) I can agree no more.

TC: Hey! I heard that!

Zel: I rather be looking for my cure!

Lina: I rather be getting treasures!

TC: (Raise an eyebrow) Oh? Or would you rather be victims of fangirls and fanboys sexual toy?

Both: NO!!!

TC: (LOOMS) Then quit complaining!!!

Both: (Meekly) Yes ma'm…

TC: (Clears throat) Next we have Mr. and Mr. Dragon! Valgaav and Filia Ul Copt!

(Mutely, they walked out on stage. Val's horn has been shined up, and Filia's bow was tied more neatly than usual. Filia thought this whole thing was childish, but she kept it to herself. She's just glad that she didn't get to escort Xelloss. Val felt really stupid. He felt all his pride disappearing for a member from the golden dragon was escorting him. He felt old hatred flowing through him, but it lessened for he remembered how sympathtetic Filia was to his fellow deceased ancient dragons.)

TC: (Smiles) Looks like they're cooperating just fine! Now we have Mr. And Ms. Swordsman #1! Gourry Gabrieve and Sylphiel Nels Lahda!

(Both nimbly step out to the stage. Sylphiel had a huge smile on her face, as she was clutching "her" Gourry dear's arm tightly. Gourry waved to the crowds with his free arm.)

Gourry: Hey? What's going on? Is this an important cooking contest??

TC: (Crashes) Uh…no Gourry. (Looks at Sylphiel) Haven't you explained it to him?

Sylphiel: Oh I did. I could do it again.

TC: (Sighs) Well ghere comes Mr. and Ms. Swordsman #2! Zangalus and Martina Zoana Mel Navratilova!

(Zangalus rushes out with the Howling sword, with Martina following behind.)

Zangalus: Come and fight Gourry! We have to have a rematch! I demand one!!

Gourry: You're on!

TC: (Walksup to them with a huge sweatdrop.) Uh guys…sorry but no violence here!

Both: Awww nuts…

TC: Just trying to keep this under R rated. Now we have an unusual category! Please welcome Mr. and Ms Justice; Phil and Amelia!

Phil: Justice will let the best win! May the best be me!!

Amelia: Right on dad! Justice will take its place!

(Everyone looks at the hostess with confusion written on all his or her faces.)

Jen-chan: Tara-chan…(lowers her voice to a stage whisper) Phil's not a bishounen…

TC: (sighs) Sorry guys. Unless you want me to get a deceased Alfred, no can do…

Amelia: Are you talking about my daddy?

TC: (roll eyes) No. Let's get on with the show. Our last contestant and escort are Mr. and Ms. Mazoku! Xelloss and Zelas Metallium!

(Xelloss walked out on stage with a pissed off Juu-sama. Zelas was mad, since she an highly ranked official mazoku, subordinate to Shabranigdo, had to escort someone lower than her.)

Xelloss: Master…I'm sorry this had to happen…

Zelas: Oh shut up! (Beat him up)

Xelloss: Itai…

Zelas: (Glares at TC) You'll pay for this!

TC: Whatever. Well that's the introduction round! Let's give our contestants a hand!

(Round of applauses goes on.)

TC: Ok. Now I'll explain how it's going to go. There are going to be four rounds. At each round, the highest points each contestant will get are 25 points. So basically each judge gives them a point based on the 1-5 scoring rank. 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest. So whoever gets the highest point wins! Oh yeah! During our entertainment act, the five judges are going to get together and discuss amongst themselves. Whoever they think that deserves Mr. Slayers will get 50 extra points. 25 goes to the 1st runner up and 10 go to the 2nd runner up. Now we'll take a break before we go to the first round!

(Background music: Josie and the Pussycats – 3 Small Words)


End file.
